Ok~ back to do a post again..Damn sad.. nothin emo to posts about =.= haiz.. haha.. XD.. cause nothin emo to post about tats y the post is so damn freakin short can.!!! ><.. ok this are all extra stuffs tat u guys are readin to make the post longer =p waahhahahhaha. loL~..

Well, today is the day whr ppl are free from everything.. while they're free.. im still stuck wif the upcommin lab retest and exams commin in 2 weeks.. hope i can pass my lab test this round.. hmmm.. maybe im gonna redo my code again.. and give on sunday... unless i cant solve tat freakin linka error.. im jux gonna give up and pass it in =.= stupid lo~ .. im gonna retake the sub cause of this.. haiz.. gonna miss u guys man T_T

I KNOW ITS MY FAULT LAH! OK!... I suck! AND FIRST OF ALL CAUSE I GOT NO GOD DAMN KNOWLEDGE IN PROGRAMMING AT ALL AND IM NOT EVEN REALLY TAT INTERESTED IN DOIN PROGRAMMIN =.=....tats y i screwed up ... so fucked up can.. i am freakin pissed off.. and ricky.. thks for givin up on me ^^ cause i know im beyond hopelike.. nthin u can do to save me.. im like a total retard and noob by takin and doin this programmin. whr i dun even remem all the freakin basics.. i tried to understand by readin through the slides and tryin them.. but i fuckin hell dunno how to implement them in..

Thks to my stupid brain.. i cant get a shit in.. and im in this shit cause im shit.. i can do nthin rite.. other than tryin to do smthin nt related to my sub/course.. i can do any other things. i can jux go be a god damn counsellor or even a photographer.. cant the world jux let me do smthin tat im good in instead of smthin im really bad in?... its like really wtf..

ok nvm bout tat.. if i am given a chance.. i would rather quit studyin in sg now and go Aus to study again for 5 years in the vet course.. at least i am confident i can excel in tat way.. farkin bad choice i've made isnt it..

And im really sry for the troubles i've caused u guys.. srsly.. i am fuckin useless.. i know ok.. i cant do anythin other than give u guys trouble.. its nthin more than more headache for u guys.. wat good am i for.. nthin... i cant even do or make my program rite.. i cant even help LZH in doin gmaps.. WTF.. im freakin useless.. and worst my c++ is so bad.. pls.. i thks u guys for puttin ur efforts to try to teach me.. its my pathetic brain and self tat cant take in all these things.. im so sry~

This sem might be the last sem i'd ever be wif u guys.. haiz.. i didnt wan this to happen... bt its jux too much for me.. even if i started early.. i cant really do much.. cause my foundation is not really thr. ok i shouldnt be blame-ing anything other than myself.. im so fucked up.. im so pathetic.. i should really perish now.. thrs nthin i can do bt create more trouble.. i cant save myself.. no one can save me. Even if i am to perish.. im sure no one would know and even shed a tear for me.. tats how pathetic i am.. for my existence is jux like another pest in this world...no one would ever care about my life or death.. Im invisible even to the naked eye.. will i ever be regconised as a person or will i stay as jux a random entity forever that appears in and out of human eyes.

enough of this.. i had it.. i really wanna leave this world.. but is thr any other place for me to go.. haiz.. maybe off to some barren lands.. or a place whr no one have ever been to and live alone..

Today had a small chat wif JK.. i found out smthin.. i really cant talk to girls.. its like.. i can talk to guys so much more freely than i talk to a girl. im not gonna say wat we talked about.. but.. its the same thing when i was out wif KH.. i can always chat with them for hours and never feel bored.. perhaps cause we all need alittle bit of advices or counselling.. bt.. y isit always tat in face to face chats.. i always seems to talk to guys more and open up more and feel more free compared to talkin to girls. maybe cause the guys are my good frens. we'd share the same thoughts.. we need each other as a support.. and wat are we talkin bout here.. brother hood.. though we know each other outside.. yes we're not classmates.. never was.. but this bond is thr.. better than some of my classmates..

i tried to create lots of bonds wif my classmates.. perhaps cause im more intimidated cause i feel low and useless in the class.. more like a burden to them than a help.. whereas.. outside frens.. we have nthin to compare wif each other.. we can talk our thoughts out.. since we dun know anyother frens ard our own social circle.. ok maybe some .. bt .. we can keep things between us and we wont have to be afraid of wat if him, him or her comes to know bout our things.. they wun even know who i am or who u are.. and ppl dun give a damn to random ppl..

OK lah~ .. i think ima stop here.. gonna sleep le.. haven have much sleep lately..

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TOO ALL!

Dun care bout me.. cause the more u worry bout me... the more u'll feel like im a super heavy burden that u have carried in ur life and i dun wan u to regret it.. i dun wan to leave such a bad impression in ur life either.. SRY FOR ALL THE TROUBLES I'VE CAUSED.

If its my time to go.. i'll jux take my leave.. I dun care in wat way..