Nature's Santuary

The Explosion

Jan 30, 2010

Alrite.. Heres the song.. 爱我还是他 - 陶吉吉

<3 this song so much.
Have been my fav song for a long time ^^..
Hope u peeps love it.
Cheers.

Ok! Finally a new Blog Skin After like Years!!! lOL!... ok maybe 1year + nearly 2.. anw.. Really like it though.. Darkness prevailes!!

I shall post another song up later.. Have been ringing in my head For a long time. XD

Alrite Ciaoz.

Jan 29, 2010

品冠 - 我以为

This song. Reminds me much of myself. A song use to console myself. Love is hard, especially when the person u love alrdy chose to be with someone else. A song for all the people that felt heartbrokern because of love.

Part 1:
你总说不想有天让我知道,你对他,有那么好

你说会懂,我的失落,不是靠宽容,就能够解脱.

我以为我出现的时候刚好,你和他,就说要分开.

我以为你,已对他不再期待,不纵容他再给你伤害

Chorus:
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙

我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口

全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错

也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生.

Part 2:
我以为终究你会慢慢明白,他的心已不在你身

我的关心,你依然无动于衷我的以为只是我以为.

Chorus:
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙

我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口

全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错

也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生

他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅

原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁

我以为我够坚强,却一天天的失望

少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望

End Chorus:
我以为我的温柔,能给你整个宇宙

我以为我能全力填满你感情的缺口

全心陪在你左右.弥补他一切的错

也许我太过天真,以为奇迹会发生

他让你红了眼眶,你却还笑着原谅

原来你早就想好你要留在谁的身旁

我以为我够坚强却输的那么绝望

少给我一点希望,希望就不是奢望

01:15am 29th January 2010
Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

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Log 5:
Emotion: Too Many =s

Ok.. 5th post. Since the start of year. Naise. Whatever.. ok. Wonders Y facebook so fail, its like so laggy all of a sudden for no reason. Annoying. I Wonder if its some stupid prob wif singtel internet. God iTs Freaking SLOW.

Ah well, Not gonna talk about RIDICULOUS things today. Not gonna dampen my mood over it. So im gonna talk about some happy things that happen to me instead. Alrite i know its gonna be another boring story... Oh wait! heee.

I WAS LATE FOR SCH THIS Noon! lol!.. Lesson suppose to start at 12pm... and guess wat. I woke up at 10:30am!!!!! and fell back into slumber for the next hour wahahaha!. so yea. i woke up OFFICIALLY at 11:30am =.= WIN!!!!

Wanted to call some1 to back me up and tell the teacher i had a bad stomuchache and was in the toilet.. While im still waiting for the bus to come .. lol!. so i could escape being marked late. but.. i guess i shouldn't lie, For its my fault tat i go late. so yea.. i didnt called.

ALRITE... Reach Sch at 12:30pm! YES IM late.. And i decided to NOT go to class. In other words.. PON CLASS!!! LOL!.. Partly i blame JON cause he was at the concourse playin monster hunter.. *tempted* hee. so yea i sat down wif them and started surfing the net and watch vids.

aft bout 30mins .. Jussi came and i was LIKE.. YES JUX IN TIME JUSSI!!!! Come Lets HON!!!! ROFL~ He agreed, >=D and we started the application. Apparently, both of us haven been into HON for like ... Weeks? or months .. haha. and the update was like =.= ..

Anw, aft the update, we started playing. AND WOW. Its like THE BEST THING TO START THE DAY OFF WIF!!!! hahaha! Such a fun time Trashing a bunch of nubs. XD of im abit of evil but, comeon.. we're not ur average players hee.

Not long aft, Class Starts.. AIGD.. OOO damn its kinda stress. hee. cause i got no idea how to do programming =.=... but .. i jux stayed through, walking ard, playing facebook apps.. talking.. hee..

Everyone was having fun, Nonsense everywhr.. LoL... but still doing work atleast Wahahaha XD hey 1% of work still considered progress!!! Rite.. =p

Lesson ends... Then went wif sebby to eat dinner.. ok tats jux me. cause sebby didnt eat D; he's got dinner at home.. haix.. emo dinner LOL!... aft dinner.. HOME!!!!

First thing, HON!!! Then DOTA!!!! Hon wasnt tat bad.. though we conceded the first match, cause of some Trash pubs =.= .. but the 2nd game was WEEEEE!!!! Freaking Owning =D hahahas! Then Dota! Woot.. ever since Playin back dota. i Haven Lost a match. LOLOLOL! Thks To Our FREAKING AWESOME TeamWork!

<3 ya guys! heee.. oh yea.. Got some tips off Mr mike today when i went to buy ice-cream wif ivan at itas hahas. Nah not tips for work, But Photography =D Damn he's got some cool new lens T_T.. i wan one too.. LOL!.. But i had a nice chat wif him. such a nice guy, Simply an Awesome Teacher! =D cheers mate!

hmm~ other than tat.. ehs.. i guess tats it? .. yea.. as promised im not gonna talk bout emo stuff today.. so yea. Haf fun yo!

Everyday's a new day, And we should start afresh ^^

*Beep*

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---Love Comes In Many Different Forms, That Everyone holds Dear to them. But theres always one that they cherish more. Which one is it, for you?---
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Status: Relaxed
*Shutdown*

Jan 25, 2010

10:15pm 25th January 2010

Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

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Log 4:

Emotion: Vexed
Area: My Room

Back for the next log record session. Well, have been thinking much about things thats been happening around me this whole month. Kinda shitty if u come to think about it. Ok maybe not, cause no one can understand the pain and agony i went through, time like these are worst than hell. Perhaps only one guy, My bro, can understand.

Aside from the constant bombardments in my brain and heart. I have also come to find that no one ever thinks deeper than what the thing seems to be on the surface. People just assume that it must be what it is, just by looking at it. But what they will never know is that there's more than it meets the eye.

Things are not always as simple as it looks. I don't know why but people just like to stick to their assumptions after they've made one. Maybe its their stubborn nature? Or they just cant be bothered to look closer to what it might reveal. Truth hides from the naked eye, only the heart is able to really hear and see it.

Most only use their brains, and not their hearts. Which I would say, a grave mistake. To understand, is not simply knowing. You have to give so much more effort just to feel what it really means. A major part of the population, will tend to think, scraping through the surface is enough for me to determine the truth and the meaning behind the act, word, whatever there is.

Pitiful it is, that man have fallen to such state. Brains are useless without the guidiance of the heart. Though not all the times the heart is right, but sometimes a wrong doing may add on as an experience in your life changing you to be a better person.

I have changed much. Without a doubt, i am wearing a mask myself. hiding who i really am, not being what i really wan to be, and lying to myself that it is all ok. But i am slowly taking the mask away, i have learnt to be stronger. Through the pain and suffering that faith have brought me through, I have decided to live as me, Not another.

Fear still recides in my heart, i have never for once doubted that I am a niusance to the society. I am not able to secure my heart, i am not able to hold the ones i really love, i am not able to do so much more.

A mind is a scary thing to peek into, cause one will never know how much secrets it hides. It is so complex that one can never utilise the brain to its full potential. Dark a mind can be, harbouring the desires of lust and revenge, it can too be filled wif light, having only the thoughts to help and save.

I am not going to talk much about myself today. Cause I feel its not the time. only understanding the truth can break myself free from the chains that still withold me in the dark corners. Though it might not last, but i'll make sure that this is the happiest reject i can take.

I don't know who will read my posts, but if you do. think about who u want to be, are u really being who u are made to be? Or are you jux wearing a mask to hide from the harsh realities of life. Feel free to talk to me. I am Always around to help.

*beep*

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Status: Sad

*Shutdown*

Name: Boris Kuek Xiu Quan
October 15 1991
12:00 PM Time Zone is AWST
Singapore, SING

Rising Sign is in 05 Degrees Capricorn
You are practical and reserved but very ambitious. An achiever and a hard worker, you respect success. Older looking and very serious as a youth, things lighten up and you relax more as you mature. You have a serious view of the world as being a difficult place to be in. Very envious of those who seem to have an easier life than you have, relaxation and play do not come easily. It is important that you had abundant parental support as a child so that you do not feel lonely and isolated as an adult. Generally, you have a good, earthy sense of humor that can carry you through when times really do get tough. You are purposeful, self-willed, industrious, realistic and responsible.

Sun is in 21 Degrees Libra.
Very sociable, you enjoy being with others and definitely prefer not be alone. Warm and affectionate, you go out of your way to make others like you. You despise ugliness, for you being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. You prefer fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings wherever you are. Your refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. At times, you are very indecisive you waver and falter when forced to make a choice because you have the ability to see both sides of any question. The positive part of this is that you are very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. Your greatest challenge is to take any one- on-one encounter and make the most of it.

Moon is in 15 Degrees Capricorn.
You are serious and shy and very uncomfortable in those situations where spontaneous and exuberant emotional reactions seem called for. An achiever, you prefer doing practical, worthwhile things that produce tangible results. You need role models to respect, love and emulate. You tend to feel that you're a failure unless you get an important and highly respected position in life. Don't be so hard on yourself! For you, practical needs always win out over emotional considerations. Remember that you too have the right to comfort, security and love. Dutiful and patient, when you make an emotional commitment, you sign on for the long haul -- your love is long- enduring.

Mercury is in 29 Degrees Libra.
You are known for not jumping to conclusions about things. You tend to weigh all possible choices very carefully before making a decision. When in the slightest amount of doubt, you will compromise rather than ruffle any feathers. You are a true raconteur of culture and taste -- your ideas and opinions are neat, elegant and refined. A born diplomat, you dislike discord so much that you will go out of your way to make others feel comfortable and at ease. You speak softly and pleasantly.

Venus is in 06 Degrees Virgo.
You express your love and affection through selfless service to people or causes. You have a tendency to underestimate yourself and doubt your self-worth. This is very demeaning and should be avoided -- learn to love yourself as well as you do others. Your standards of perfection are very high -- you are attracted to relationships based on duty and responsibility. You are supercritical of yourself and others and, at times, prefer to be alone rather than deal with any imperfections in yourself or in those with whom you might relate.

Mars is in 28 Degrees Libra.
You are very aware of the need to cooperate with others in order to further any effort. You are usually willing to compromise with others, although you can be quite competitive in a friendly way. Very fair- minded and impartial, you have the ability to sense injustice and the desire to take corrective actions to make proper compensations. You see both sides of issues and questions, but you tend to be undecided or wavering when forced to make choices that might make you vulnerable or unpopular.

Jupiter is in 06 Degrees Virgo.
You feel most expansive and at ease with yourself when you are doing something that you consider to be practical or useful. You enjoy being dutiful and carrying out responsibilities. You gladly take on the little tasks that others seem to want to avoid. At times, you carry things to extremes and feel guilty anytime you do something that you consider to be self-indulgent. While it is appropriate for you to demand little for yourself in life, try to loosen up once in a while -- go out on a fling and enjoy yourself!

Saturn is in 00 Degrees Aquarius.
Your personal sense of values is a reflection of the value structures of your peer group and of those you respect and admire. Try to be more critical in your acceptance of these values -- you tend to prejudge the abilities of those you trust and then follow what they say blindly. Basically very conservative, you prefer orderly, systematic changes and fear doing things rashly or impulsively. Ideas and philosophies must have some sort of immediately realizable, utilitarian function in order for you to pay any attention to them.

Uranus is in 10 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your peer group as well, seek out practical solutions to a changing society's attitudes to customs, traditions and authority structures. Your logical and orderly manner of dealing with these matters will result in permanent and carefully planned, but sweeping, reforms.

Neptune is in 14 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts.

Pluto is in 19 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.

N. Node is in 13 Degrees Capricorn.
You rarely get involved closely with anyone unless he or she has something specific and practical to offer you. You tend to be "all business" when it comes to dealing with others. You're usually so intently focused on a particular goal that you rarely have time for social niceties or casual fellowship. But you can definitely be counted on by others to get things done. When you say that you'll do something, you do it. As such, you're a valuable member of any team situation and will probably rise to a position of leadership within the group. Your trustworthiness and sense of responsibility are unquestioned. But do try to avoid the temptation to "use" others to reach your goals -- they might come to resent you.

Jan 24, 2010

12:45am.. 24th January 2010

Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

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Log 2:

Position: Home

Sector: My Room
Situation: Waiting For Parents To be Back

Hello, Im back for the 2nd log. Missed the one the other day, cause was busy wif preparations and outing. Anyway, I haven been thinking much bout anything and it felt better. I guess its a way for me to escape from my depression i guess.

Work have been well, atleast for now. I've finish one of them. Not so stressed now.

Been goin out wif my jie. ok lah.. not much of goin out.. but.. atleast i feel lighter and better when im ard her.. LOL!.. she tells me things and i tell her things. happy uh~ hahahah..

Also... Yst was Jonneh and ZhenYang BDAY!!!! hahahaha! Such a great day XD

Though we nv celebrated Jonneh's bday =.= ... partly cause he wasnt ard... but its still filled with massive Laughter and Joy! =D Joked ard.. took vids. heh~ Set a chicken Chop on fire... XD wahahahahah! Full of nonsense!!! othenial Was thr!!!! which was a surprise.. and much of a coincidence cause he's have a class bbq thr too XD

ah well.. I SAW THE ORION'S Belt Again! Omg its so beautiful ^^. How i wish i could look into the sky everynite jux to stare at the clear sky, the stars =]

By then i only drank a can of carlsberg.. abit zzz lah. cause i dun really like beer hahas~ no kick also =.= heeee =p

aft like Quite a few ppl left.. we started the drinking PARTY!!!! hahahs! its aft 12am though D; hahas.. but yea.. its still great! so long since i had a nice drink hee.. and i made a pact wif them saying that if we dun drink until we die... we cont drinking!!! XD

Yea.. and tats how i became a MERLION =.= lol!... I drank quite afew cups of Pure vodka and jin =.= ... totally.. OMG~ then like 3-4 cups of mixed one.. because of tat... i puked like 6 times? LOL!... i felt like shit aft tat.. hahs. but it felt great. cause i couldnt think of anything.. loL!..

First time i got so drunk.. u know.. most of the time.. i wouldnt even feel like puking. This time.. its the real deal. hahas. lucky i had no hangovers.. XD Bt the feel of puking still remains.. wat the!!! hahas.

Oh yea.. and not to forget.. i am one of the 3 idiots tat played soccer till our toes bled.. LOL!.. Imba uh.. hahas the ball damn hard lah .. and we aint wearing shoes also, cause we were wearing slippers!!! wahahahha! ok -.- ..

Bloody jeremy... Pour water all over my back... argh!!! heeh! make me feel so wet the whole nite XD but its fun lah~ its been so long since we have such a gathering whr we haf fun tgt. I really enjoyed it! Love ya Bros man!

Aft i 'fell' dead =.= ... loL~ ok not so.. but.. about thr.. wai leong fell dead too LOLOLOL!.. though the first merlion wasnt us.. but ZhenYang .. XD he seems to be So fine D: hahahs! U power man! i really salute u heee!!! I was the 2nd and waileong the 3rd.

IM so sry maya!!! hahas! really gotta say it. cause.. i am so seh alrdy till i cant control my body.. i was falling all over the place DX so gotta lie on smthing =x

The last place i fell dead.. was on the table.. while some were still drinkin.. Lau and some1... hahas.. i think Waileong fell dead on the table too but watever.. haha. then they said we shld go.. so i turned ard and tried to stand up.. BUT.. i feel so weak tat i couldnt stand .. LOL!.. wai leong also hahahahhaha! both of us like... walking from one side to the other.. hahahs! Gotta thks Nic for supporting me through the journey to Lau's house.. Really thks man ^^

I feel really sick when i was walking sia.. Like having fever.. Yet i feel damn cold outside and inside. LOL!.. then headache.. then sleepy... watever.! we Took a taxi to Lau's house.. when we went in the lift... i looked into the mirror.. and i thought i became a ghost LOLOLOLOL! I look DAMN pale lah!

Aft we Went into his house.. They Put me down on a mattress and i jux fell asleep till 11am+ hahas.. I woke up to find tat most ppl are gone.. Left wif NIc and Lau.. both still sleeping. so i went to take a bath.. bloody.. i still feel abit wobbly even though i slept for so long hahaha!

Its really OMg.. yea.. but aft i came out from the bathroom, nic was awake alrdy.. and we watched the vids and Laugh our ass off while waiting for lau to come awake XD. Lunch was settled at Lau's house.. his dad bought chicken rice for us. THKS UNCLE!!! Sry for troubling u!! =D

Went home aft tat.. and prepare to go iluma for some taiko and meet jie.. though my original idea was... GO THR AND FIND JON!!!.. but.. he wasnt thr cause he took leave to bbq =.= LOL!.. played afew rounds of taiko wif the taiko dojo ppl.. and lau. then went to eat wif jie at the CHICKEN RICE Coffee shop! XD

Went back to Iluma to find gias aft tat.. but he wasnt anywhr to be Found D; sads... cause his jacket wif me LOLOLOL! HINAGIKU!!!!!

Anw.. Im goin to sleep le.. Nites People.

*Beep*

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Status: Sleepy and goin to bed

*Shutdown*

Jan 21, 2010

haiz... 5:40pm.. 21st January 2010.

Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese

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Log 1:
Position: School
Sector: Level 6 lab
Situation: FARKING SIAN

Hello thr. Its been about 21days since sch reopened.. Ever since things have not been goin well. *sigh* Guess things are really goin amock in my life. Not to say bad, but sad things one after another. Nothing seems to fit into my life.

Really troubled these days. Nothing haf been more stressful to me than relationship and Work. i've never felt more alone since the last time i got boycott from class.. even sch. but it i didnt feel so bad then.

I found out, as we grow older.. the hunger for companionship grows. I find that i really need someone to hold and cry on, that special someone. Though its not for me to choose, but all that i haf pulled myself into only leave me in disappointment.

Love as they say, are hard to find. But to find that special some1 that love u back, is even harder. I for one haf learnt that nomatter how good u can be to a person u fancy, u can nv get her. cause thrs always some1 that alrdy rest in her heart.

Knowing the truth that u can never get her is pain, But refusing to let her out of ur mind proves to be more fatal. Which eventually lands me in the state of depression, hurt and moodless.

Its ok if it only happen for once, twice.. but for someone to fall for everyone of them that he knows will never be together wif is like suffering repeated strikes to the heart consistantly everyday and nite.

he Only wished for one of them to know and accept him, but fear haf led him to be silent and bear the pain. Cause he will feel Like a Damn retard and ashamed of facing her if he got rejected by her.

Time passed haf gradually made the growth more pain and emotionless..

Guess that this is jux the begining of the impending doom.

Times up, i gotta go.

This is Boris.. Signing out..

*beep*

Status: Logged Out At 5:57pm

*Shutsdown*

Jan 1, 2010

Happy New Year Everyone!

I Wish Everybody A happy 2010~!!!

May THis Year Be A Blessed Year For Everyone!