ok I'll keep this short...

Moodless.. Seriously... Moodless...

I am not happy nor Sad... I jux basically cant feel anything now...

my mind is blank.. my heart haf stopped...

i haf paused in the midst of time..

I've been quiet.. really quiet... I cant even find a word to say...

To anyone... I jux find ... tat .. i really cant say anything..

Im dumbfolded... im really losing touch with the world...

I cant communicate anymore...

even through cyber space... i cant seem to crack up anymore things....

let alone reality... face to face... i cant even think of wat to say...

perhaps... im made to be dumb... or left alone... even live alone in a lone world in a lone country...

who in the world will like someone tat cant even talk well... or communicate well..

its like... impossible.. be it fate...

Im really losing myself... Losing myself to... Me......

my inner demon... The one tat will end my life...

Its taking over me.. making me numb... stabbing me within...

hurting me wif all the bad memories... now and before...the history...the present.. all~~~

i missed the days ... when we jux sit down and talked to each other for hours without fail.. when the atmosphere is so pure... so happy... so filled with the scent of love...

I miss you... I miss the times... I miss the beautiful past...

I yearn for a Nice relationship... I wish for a better life...

I wish for a better me... Tat i wont be such a .. Weakling...

I wish tat i will never lose my frens...

I wish tat ... I am not forgotten...

Too many tat i haf to wish... But i had none...

I have to make decisions... Though most are tough... but i still haf to make...

One decision can lead to different results... I may lose my best pals...

I may lose my love... I may even lose my life...

I dont wan to lose anything... It jux hurts me so bad tat .. I can never forget them...

These bad memories stick wif me throughout the days and nites..

the good times.. are only for the moment.. How i wish they could last =[

When will i find my love... my soul mate.. one tat will accept me for who i am...

One tat will accept my hobbies... who will stay wif me through the days...

my biggest fear is that it will never come...

To give up everything for one ... I would think alot through...

But for my love.. my best pals... I would not mind...

I may be selfish... I maybe ... picky... but i treat frens more than who they think i am to them... even.. who they are to me... I treasure them.. but i fail to keep them.. cause i fail to connect well enough...

I am tired... Im off...