The Explosion
Jan 25, 2010
10:15pm 25th January 2010
Name: Boris
Age: 18
Race: Chinese
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Log 4:
Emotion: Vexed
Area: My Room
Back for the next log record session. Well, have been thinking much about things thats been happening around me this whole month. Kinda shitty if u come to think about it. Ok maybe not, cause no one can understand the pain and agony i went through, time like these are worst than hell. Perhaps only one guy, My bro, can understand.
Aside from the constant bombardments in my brain and heart. I have also come to find that no one ever thinks deeper than what the thing seems to be on the surface. People just assume that it must be what it is, just by looking at it. But what they will never know is that there's more than it meets the eye.
Things are not always as simple as it looks. I don't know why but people just like to stick to their assumptions after they've made one. Maybe its their stubborn nature? Or they just cant be bothered to look closer to what it might reveal. Truth hides from the naked eye, only the heart is able to really hear and see it.
Most only use their brains, and not their hearts. Which I would say, a grave mistake. To understand, is not simply knowing. You have to give so much more effort just to feel what it really means. A major part of the population, will tend to think, scraping through the surface is enough for me to determine the truth and the meaning behind the act, word, whatever there is.
Pitiful it is, that man have fallen to such state. Brains are useless without the guidiance of the heart. Though not all the times the heart is right, but sometimes a wrong doing may add on as an experience in your life changing you to be a better person.
I have changed much. Without a doubt, i am wearing a mask myself. hiding who i really am, not being what i really wan to be, and lying to myself that it is all ok. But i am slowly taking the mask away, i have learnt to be stronger. Through the pain and suffering that faith have brought me through, I have decided to live as me, Not another.
Fear still recides in my heart, i have never for once doubted that I am a niusance to the society. I am not able to secure my heart, i am not able to hold the ones i really love, i am not able to do so much more.
A mind is a scary thing to peek into, cause one will never know how much secrets it hides. It is so complex that one can never utilise the brain to its full potential. Dark a mind can be, harbouring the desires of lust and revenge, it can too be filled wif light, having only the thoughts to help and save.
I am not going to talk much about myself today. Cause I feel its not the time. only understanding the truth can break myself free from the chains that still withold me in the dark corners. Though it might not last, but i'll make sure that this is the happiest reject i can take.
I don't know who will read my posts, but if you do. think about who u want to be, are u really being who u are made to be? Or are you jux wearing a mask to hide from the harsh realities of life. Feel free to talk to me. I am Always around to help.
*beep*
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Status: Sad
*Shutdown*
